Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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