He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
