I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
