About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
