My brain says no but my pants say off.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
