problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
