Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
