girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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