i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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