you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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