I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
