Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
