I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
there's paper in my vomit.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
