I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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