Buhtt sex?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
