is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
