'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
40s are totally the cure
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
