Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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