That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
