I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Less talking, more tequila
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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