i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
