I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
