Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
