I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
