I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
