He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
