hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
