Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
