fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
