But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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