So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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