Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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