you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
