On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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