I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
