you guys were way drunker than both of me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
