We're like a lot better than the average bears
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
