I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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