My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
