if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
apparently the secret to your success is patron
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
