You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
