Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
