David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
