My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
