Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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