the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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