I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
