just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
