I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
