i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Welp...herpes.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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