I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
