I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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