He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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