I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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