He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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