Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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