Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
