He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
