In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
