Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
